I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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