Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
farters have to be the big spoon...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
