Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize