I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
