So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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