Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize