I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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