His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
