I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
