So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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