before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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