she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
