I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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