I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
