he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
