I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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