Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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