Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
