Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize