he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
be right there i have to get my cape
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
