the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
