Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
