Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
