his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
