Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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