this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
