It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
