In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
