Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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