We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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