It's Friday. Sex?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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