Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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