Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
