guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
