His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
