I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
