Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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