i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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