I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
