I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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