New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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