the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize