I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
