You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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