I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
