based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
