Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We got so high we made milksteak
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
