im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
