Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize