Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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