70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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