I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
