you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
