Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
