A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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