he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
