Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
