Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
