Already got asked if we're dating
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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