the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
