just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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