she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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