mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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