just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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