I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
