i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
