Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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